|
Partners
and Marriage (contd.)
After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you
respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their
relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They
find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the
emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the
relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again.
If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can't
accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for
others, and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love
her more, your love will grow.
If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal
with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect
each other.
There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all
have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and
private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny.
If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable
parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find
yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where
you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the
heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the
cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples
bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.
So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner
with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take
place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of miracle
but I think it is not too strong a word.
|
