Julia Says

Lamaran Abadi

Some of us plan better, so we save for a couple of years before we decide to get married. Others may not save enough and may have to loan from our parents. Of course, the immediate question that comes to mind would be - how much control would I have to give up since they are 'funding' the wedding? But before we discuss that be aware that your parents are not obligated to pay for your wedding. After all you are now an adult and should be able to plan these for yourself. So, before you even think of how much control you have to give up by using their money - remember that they are not obligated to say 'yes' even if you open your mouth to ask for it!

Now, let's assume they are willing to 'fund' your wedding. These are a few things you will want to remember:

1. Be grateful! Be very grateful for that. After all, they do not owe that to you. Do not take that for granted.
   
   
2. Be clear on what you want and what you are willing to give up. Talk to them on what are some of the 'must haves' you expect and the things that you would welcome their comments on. You would be surprised on how much they can contribute.
   
   
3. Keep them in the loop. Do not run away thinking - now that you have the money you can do anything you want. They may have told you that but it is always better to keep them informed. Let them know you have spent x amount on the dinner, y amount on the gown, etc. Show that you respect them and it lets them know that you are not taking them for granted.
   
   
4. If you feel all these amounts to giving up too much control - then asks for a loan instead. Discuss with them your needs and explain to them how you plan to re-pay the loan. It seems weird to loan from your parents for your wedding but it is not unheard of in this part of the world.
   

Generally, parents are more than willing to help out financially so be open about it. And do not hide behind excuses.