Mom, it's my wedding!
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Keeping your sanity while keeping your mom happy is the way.
My friend who will be getting married soon nearly yelled out to her mom recently -
"It's my wedding, mom! I will decide!" That's what she wanted to do but alas she
did not.
All the Asian values of respect for the elders got the better of her. I don't quite think
that yelling it out would be a good idea anyway. Yes, her mom would probably get the idea
that she has to be a little hands-off but imagine the hurt she would feel. After all, if
you think about it - to a mother, it's not so much about running the show for you. It's
not so much of wanting it to be her show or something she wants to show-off to friends and
relatives. I am no psychologist but trust me - my gut feel (for whatever it's worth) tells
me that it's more of the fear of losing you and be able to run things for you ever again.
Now you may dispute this but think again - after the wedding you will take on another role
- the role of someone else's wife. Yes, you say nothing changes, you are still her
daughter even after you are married. But to her it will be different. It would signify
that you are starting a new chapter in your life. You will have your on family.
Symbolically, it IS the last thing she can do for you and be part of before you
'officially' become an adult (old Chinese beliefs says that you are an adult after you are
married). So, whatever it is - the suggestion to my friend is this - if you can
compromise, let your mom be as much a part of the action as possible. As for moms out
there - relax. You are not losing her, let her have some fun planning it the way she wants
it. It is after all her wedding. 
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