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"Ang Pows"* and wedding dinners

Can we stop being so commercialised about wedding dinners?

This is no exaggeration - I have been to at least a wedding dinner every weekend during the month of September. On a particular week I went to two - one on Saturday and another on Sunday. But that's not the topic I want to discuss this week. What do you hear most often when it comes to wedding dinners?

Well, if you are a guest you will probably say "Aiyah, kena saman again" (translated it means - I am being fined again!), if you are the wed to-be and throwing a traditional Chinese wedding dinner the first thing on your mind would be "Will we make money from this dinner." Why do we have to be so commercialised about wedding dinner?

I know I am being idealistic when I say this - but isn't ang pow a form of blessing from guests? Isn't throwing a wedding dinner a form of celebrating your marriage? Shouldn't you as a guest be honoured when you are invited to a wedding dinner?

I know we do not live in an ideal world but that doesn't mean we as the younger generation cannot change some of these 'unhealty' culture like having a wedding dinner with the idea that you can make money from it. Or as an invited guest think more about the money you are giving than felling honoured that you are invited.

No doubt, wedding dinners are expensive to pay for but if you cannot afford it, have a dinner that is within your budget. You don't need a genius to tell you that. I know, I know, it's more complicated than this - the parents factor, the "too-many-friends-to-invite" factor - to name two. The reality is that you have a choice and you need to decide. All's fine and well if your guests are generous and you can more than pay for your dinner. But what if you fall short?

As guests, think more about how the couple regard you as a friend and you should be honoured that you are invited. Remember, the ang pow is but a symbol of your blessing. On a more practical note, it is to help the couple start off their life. So, give sincerely. What matters most is the sincerity in it. It doesn't matter whether it is a big or a small amount. What matters is the sincerity. And all sincerity is gone when you say "Aiyah, kena saman again!"

* "Ang Pows" or "Hong Pao"- literally translated means "Red Packets" that contains money used as gifts during auspicious occassions.

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