Wedding

Be a Great Guest 101

Being a great guest starts the very second you are invited to a wedding. Ask yourself, how many times have you really 'RSVP'ed even though it is clearly written in the invitation card the date to revert to the couples whether or not you are attending their wedding? Malaysians still have a tendency to keep mum though they know that they will not be able to attend for some reason or another. Trust us, the weds to-be will be very happy if you let them know early - even if you are turning down the invitation. It helps them prepare and inform the restaurant or caterers when food is involved.

Here are some simple guidelines you can use to be a great guest:

Inform the couples (or the person they have assigned, it's usually written in the card) early on your attendance. Generally, it is only a phone call away.
In case you cannot make it last minute, always inform the hosts. Don't just not show up and hope that they will forget. It's basic manners.
It's their wedding not yours! So, do not assume you can bring someone along. Only people whose names are addressed to are invited. There're cases where parents brought kids along for a wedding when only the folks were invited. Imagine the stress you are adding on for the couples scurring to add seats and food.
How much in the "angpow"? The jury is still out on this one. There are two camps of thought on this one. One is based on a "market price" (we hate how commercialised this sounds! Read how we feel about "angpows" here) of the area you are invited to. Guests usually ask around. In the Klang Valley it's anything above RM50. Smaller towns ranges from RM30-50. The other camp goes on a 'how close you are with the couples' theory. Obviously, the closer you are with the couple or their families the more you will give. This applies to family and friends.
Wear something appropriate. You would be surprised how 'informally' us Malaysians will dress. It's a social event, so dress as you would for a social event. If you are really out of ideas on what to wear, the 'national dress' will be fine - batik for men and cheong sam, baju kurung or saree for the ladies.
Be on time. Let us say that again "BE ON TIME!!!" (Read about the Itsokay Tobelatetis Syndrome.)
Say nice things. How many times have you been invited to wedding dinners and there is bound to be someone who criticizes about something? It could be the food, the programme of the night, or even the décor. Keep your thoughts to yourself. It is not the place to complain. It is not you wedding. You may chose to do things differently but the bride and groom have chosen to do things their way. So, respect that.
Games and trashing the groom (or the couple). If you plan to get the groom (or his bride) really drunk (some of us here are guilty of it sometimes) make sure they finish their rounds thanking the guests first. You don't want them walking around drunk. Any 'silly' games you want to play or make fun of the couples should be after their rounds. Remember, many times there are kids around. So, make sure the games you play is not PG rated. Also, stop if the couples do not feel like playing. It's their wedding.
Out of town weddings. If you are attending, it is perfectly OK to ask the couple if they have any block bookings at a hotel where you can get a cheaper rate. Arrange for your own accommodation and foot your own bill. Take this chance to explore the town or city.

So, being a great guest is really just commonsense. So, sit back, enjoy and help the couple make it an occasion to remember!