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A not
so scientific study of dowry market prices
What's the "market rate" for dowry?
This couple of weeks we
have been getting lots of e-mails asking us about how much dowry is
enough? What is the proper 'rate' to give? What would be appropriate?
Truth is we are not the experts on dowry. But we want to help, after
all this is what the site is about.
So, we set out to do our little 'research'. We called up a few people
- mostly friends and friends of friends to find out what is the
current going rate. Note that the 'research' is no way scientific - no
random sample, statistically significant sample size or anything
remotely resembling that. This is but an indication of what others
have been giving as dowry. If you know of others, please e mail us at julia@popwedding.com.
All we want to collate is what geographical area you stay in, when
you/your friends got married and how much was the dowry. What we will
do then is to publish the aggregate results. That way we hope it will
help fellow weds-to-be decide on their dowry.
Now, we called some people - they range from people staying in
Sekinchan, Muar, Kuantan, Taiping, Ipoh, KL, Johor Bahru, Kulim and
Penang. We guess that should represent a good cross section. In total
we called 26 recently (past one year) married couples. What we found
was:
- Future mother-in-laws are generally
give very open ended answers as to how much they expect their
daughter's dowry to be. When asked the answer they give is usually
"It's up to you". That's when the problem start. Grooms
to be and their family is usually at a loss when they get an
answer like that. That's when they 'research' the market rate. If
you are a groom to be and got a 'It's up to you'. Remember you are
not alone.
- How much do grooms to be end up
giving then? Well, it ranged from RM1888 to the highest that is
RM9999.99 (no kidding!). Well, we guess if you can afford it - why
not?
- The most often quoted figure was
RM5000. Well, we guess that must be the 'market price'. But
remember the 'research' is in no way scientific.
- The figure we like best was RM3999
(not that it matters) :-).
We learned some heart warming 'lessons'
while talking to these folks. Two short ones that we want to mention
here for the benefit of the others:
- One future mother-in-law told her
not so well off son-in-law that he should not worry about the
dowry or that she would be offended if the dowry is too low. The
most impotant thing we learned is this - she said to her soon to
be son-in-law - The dowry is but a symbol of his appreciation to
her for bringing up her daughter. Since, the act of bringing up a
daughter is itself priceless, he should fret over it. The
important thing is the symbolism and practicing the tradition.
Wow! What can we say? Lucky guy!
- The other story was that - the
future-in-laws actually gave the couple back more than what was
given as dowry during the tea ceremony.
There you have it. Don't worry too much
about the dowry. As it is you have a lot to do planning your wedding.
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