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Christina's House (eng)
Christina lives in an old house
with her father and younger brother. One day strange things begin to heppen. There are
strange noises in the house and people mysteriously disappear. Things begin to get bad.
Very bad.
Starring : Allison Lange and John Savage |
Movie review by: Jonathan Wong
What
can I say about this movie? It has got to be the most awful, sorry, crappy, stupid excuse
of a horror/thriller movie. It was scary alright, but not in any way you'd expect. It was
scary because of the thought of sitting through such an excruciating and painful
experience again.
The movie tells the story of
Christina's house(doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out). Throughout the
movie, various people die/mysterious disappear near her house. Sounds like a good premise
right? Wrong. The movie is executed in such a way that the pace is slower than snail, and
the scenes that are supposed to be scary just end up being bland. After every scene where
someone dies, you get the thought "Oh...she/he died." Big deal.
As for the camerawork, they do a
pretty good job of focusing on Cristina's rather prominent chest and behind. Every time
she goes up a stairs or climbs a ladder, you're assured of shot of her behind. And she's
always wearing something that looks 2 sizes to small. Any smaller and the government would
have to ban this movie because it would be a soft-porno movie then.
The movie producers try to add a bit
of a "whodunnit" factor to the movie by making various characters look like
suspects. But please, it doesn't work when you make every other person who shows his/her
face in the movie seem like a psychopath! And if you have the horrible luck of sitting
thru this piece of cow manure, take note of the sheriff. He's a certified freakazoid.
Another sick character is Christina's father - in almost every scene, he looks like he
wants to get into bed with his daughter.
There is some blood towards the end. But well, suffice to say, it
wouldn't scare a goldfish. The killer reveals himself and Christina has to defend herself.
Well, I don't have to tell you the rest, I guess you can figure it out. There is a bit of
a supernatural element that sets the movie up for a sequel. The possibility of that
happening send shivers down my spine.
The verdict? Stay as far as humanly possible from this movie.
Your peace of mind depends on it. |
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